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7 Signs Your Team Needs An Emotional Intelligence Workshop

With longer lifespans, delayed retirements, and a large influx of new workers, today’s workforce could potentially have five generations working together. We’re multi-generational, multi-national, and multi-cultural all at the same time resulting in different work styles, different communication styles, different work ethics, different expectations from jobs, different behavioral styles, different emotions, and different motivational styles. What kind of leader is needed? One with a high degree of Emotional Intelligence. Bringing all these factions together will be challenging for those without it.

Emotional Quotient iceberg

What is Emotional Intelligence? It’s the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power, keenness, and depth of perception of emotions to facilitate high levels of collaboration and productivity. Leaders with a high Emotional Quotient (EQ) are better able to accurately predict how people will react in varying situations and tailor their message so it isn’t lost in translation.

Leaders with a high EQ are cognizant of their physiological responses during any event but especially during an emotional event and use their awareness to control their own behavioral responses. This competency of control results in better decision making which leads directly to superior performance.

Emotional intelligence

Researchers in Emotional Intelligence, tell us that 90% of the difference in performance between average leaders and stellar leaders is attributable to Emotional Intelligence. Their models list five components Emotional Intelligence:

  1. Self Awareness – The ability to recognize and understand your own moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.
  2. Self Regulation – The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods and the inclination to suspend judgment and think before acting.
  3. Motivation – A passion to work for reasons that go beyond money or status, and a tendency to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
  4. Empathy – The ability to read, sense, even anticipate the emotional makeup of other people.
  5. Social Skills – A proficiency in managing relationships and building networks.

What are the symptoms your team may need an Emotional Intelligence workshop?

Remember that emotions are signals. Teams needing an Emotional Intelligence workshop generally lack the ability to process the information and communications that are being sent. An if they can’t get the information that’s being sent their way, it may indicate they simply need training.

Don’t ever fault anyone for having a low EQ. It’s simply a skill-set they haven’t learned yet. Some learn it over long periods of time (aka maturity) while others can learn in a workshop setting.

1. Blame

Teams with a high average EQ accept personal responsibility for their own actions and aren’t quick to blame others when things go wrong.

What you’ll hear:

  • “It’s not my fault … it’s his fault”
  • “I could get things done if she were more responsible.”
  • “He didn’t get his portion completed on time so I had nothing to do and went home.”

2. Reactionary

There’s always a fire to put out, an emergency to handle, a serious or unexpected event that could have been prevented with proper planning. Teams or individuals in need of an Emotional Intelligence workshop have lots of knee-jerk reactions. They don’t respond, they react.

What you’ll hear:

  • “Here we go again … we have a situation.”
  • “Houston, we have ~another~ problem.”
  • “We’re going to miss our deadline because [preventable event].”

3. Clam ups & Blow Ups

Team members, when confronted or in an emotionally charged situation either clam up and say nothing (while fuming inside) or blow up in anger and say things that simply did not need to be said … in a way they should not have said them.

What you’ll hear:

  • Silence (clam ups)
  • “Don’t you accuse ME of making a mistake!”
  • “This is ALL YOUR FAULT! You’re worthless!”

4. Perpetual Victim Statements

Some call it “poor mouthing.” What it is really is FEAR or ENVY. A perpetual victim mentality manifests itself in negative beliefs about the intentions of others, in believing others are just “lucky”, or in having no other choices.

What you’ll hear:

  • “We either have to invest a ton of money or close up shop.”
  • “We NEVER get the breaks/budget/chances.”
  • “Senior leadership is just out to shut us down.”

5. Defensiveness

This usually shows up in excessive sensitivity to criticism. People get defensive when they fear being attacked and may mis-interpret even simple questions as accusations. Feedback isn’t accepted at face value but is interpreted as a personal vendetta against a person or the team.

What you’ll hear:

  • “Don’t YOU blame ME for anything!”
  • “I did everything I could so this isn’t MY fault!”
  • “Let me just explain something to you … I’m the only one really working around here!”

6. Arrogance

An arrogant team is self-absorbed (PRIDE) in their own self-importance and may tend to believe their work is more critical than any other team’s work.

What you’ll hear:

  • “I don’t care how this affects other departments or the rest of the company.”
  • “We’re the driving force behind all the company’s profits.”
  • “What’s right is right, I don’t care who gets hurt in the process.”

7. A Gap Between Intent and Impact

There’s usually a serious gap between what’s meant to be communicated and what’s heard. That happens all the time but for teams needing an Emotional Intelligence workshop, they’re unable to decipher the gap.

What you’ll hear:

  • “All we care about is results and if that offends someone, so be it.”
  • “You meant to hurt my feelings!”
  • “What’s the big deal?”
  • “It’s so simple even a FIRST GRADER could get it. Sheesh!”

There’s going to be negative situations occur in any workplace. What an Emotional Intelligence workshop does is prepare people to handle those negative situations and work through them without making assumptions about another’s intentions.

20,000 Moments

Some other things you’ll hear from teams needing an Emotional Intelligence workshop:

  • “All I ever do is put our fires.”
  • “All I am is a baby sitter around here.”
  • “I wish I could fire everyone and start over.”

Scientists tell us our brains recognize around 20,000 “moments” per day. You’ve probably experienced an encounter at work that affected you negatively. Recall how you felt at that moment. How did you feel later that day? Did you think about it and run through different scenarios in your mind? How productive were you the rest of the day? Did you snap at other coworkers, friends, or family? Did you make excuses for your bad mood by saying, “I’ve just had a really bad day. John and Betty both said that I wasn’t pulling my weight and it infuriated me …  I felt like they ganged up on me.”

When we’re faced with any negative event, it affects our emotions and subsequently can take four hours (or more) to dissipate the negative toxins that are released in our brain. It can take six or seven good events to cancel out one bad event. But for those with a high Emotional Quotient (EQ), that time frame is shortened.

Once a team or a team member is able to get back to a clearer state of mind, they can get on with being productive again.

Where do you go from here?

This can be just another article you read with information that fades with time or you can take action to improve the performance of your team (and even your own). Very often we think that a big impact comes about only as the result of a big change but with Emotional Intelligence, it’s those small course corrections that often result in long-term success.

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Want to learn more? Check out our website and then contact us ( and tell us how we can help you and your company bring out the best in your most important asset – your people.

Certified as a Professional Behavioral, Motivators, and Emotional Intelligence Analyst, >Ron Haynes specializes in using the science of TTI’s TriMetrix HD to help companies select and develop their top talent, create job benchmark solutions, and implement succession planning.

He has recently developed an auditing process to help organizations more accurately calculate true cost of employee turnover. It’s staggeringly higher than you think.

Need a solution to your employee challenges? Contact him at or at 870-761-7881.

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